rebuildyourruins | Drift Fleet

Oh. [ Not a blink of surprise over this. After all, it made sense - Thor said it was an old frustration.

And she sure thought that Sokka was an idiot sometimes. ] What about?

[Yes, thank you, brothers are dumb.]

He went back to the Marsiva without saying so, and now he's sick again.

[ Her mouth drops a little in surprise. Wow, that is really dumb. ]

He didn't tell you? Oh man. Sokka would kill me. Why did he go back by himself?

[ Slight... younger!sib solidarity. But mostly still on Thor's side, because... well, she'd usually just tell Sokka what she was doing and do it anyway, except for that one time when she'd delayed the whole mission to help that Fire Nation town, and... yeah. ]

[That validation is all Thor needs to really get started with his frustrations.]

Castiel asked him to - they went together. But he didn't tell me he had gone and wasn't intending to! If I hadn't seen the state he was in I would never have found out.

[ Her sympathies are torn - if she'd done something like that, it would be because she didn't want Sokka to know - likely only if she was embarrassed about what had happened or if she knew he'd disapprove and didn't want to deal with it.

Then again, if Sokka did something like that without telling her, and then went and got sick on top of it... yeah, she'd be furious.

But also, priorities: ]

Is he alright? Is he sick the same amount as last time, or worse?

[Thor's aggravation stutters at that, because -- he hadn't really checked. The discovery of the fever had propelled him so immediately into anger that seeing how well Loki was hadn't been at the forefront of his mind.

A fact that twinges with guilt.]

He's-- I don't know, about the same. He didn't seem any worse. [He crosses his arms over his chest, grumbling.] Not that he'd tell me even if he was.

[ Okay, well, that was good news at least. ]

Is that what you're frustrated about? That he didn't tell you?

He should have! I would have gone with him if he had but asked.

[What really grates at Thor, a thought he's yet to fully dig out of his subconscious, is that he had his expectations dashed. Hearing about Loki's attempt after the fact had raised the spectre of more lies, more dishonesty. He expects it yet somehow it manages to hurt all the same.]

Anything could have happened out there.

[ ...well, maybe Loki didn't tell Thor because he didn't want him to go with him, and didn't want to get into a fight about it? Or maybe it just didn't occur to him? They're both grown men, after all...

But Katara didn't really want to take Loki's side, or offer up arguments for him. He'd never been much more than polite to her; Thor was her friend. But she didn't think just agreeing with Thor would help him very much either. ]

Does he usually do things like this? On his own, I mean, without telling you? Or did he have a reason to not tell you this time?

Oh, he's done whatever he's wanted to for years now. Especially when I thought he was dead.

[But that's another matter. Thor sets his jaw against the memory of their argument.]

I don't care about him doing things on his own, I'm not his caretaker. But this isn't some jaunt into known territory. What happens out there is-- disturbing.

[And while the workings of Loki's mind remain a mystery to Thor most of the time, he knows what it looks like when he's unhinged. That's what he had seen the last time they went to the Marsiva.]

[ ...oh, she thinks she understands a little more now. Loki'd died, or at least, Thor thought so.

Once, in Luceti, Sokka had died - he'd come back quickly, sworn her to secrecy, but she remembered.

Once, in Luceti, Sokka had died. And he hadn't come back quickly, and when he came back, he wasn't right. She knew the pain of siblings who should be close keeping secrets.

She spoke a little quietly. ] You're upset because he cut you out of it. And then he got hurt on top of it. I get that. Did you tell him that?

[Thor's scowl lessens, though it doesn't leave his face entirely. Instead it settles into something moodier as he looks away. For once, he hadn't boiled over into a shouting match with Loki, had just left in the middle of it. He might have said more otherwise.]

It should be obvious.

[Only they've never communicated that well to begin with.]

A lot of things should be obvious but aren't. [Like: Cleaning up after you make a mess. Like: Women should have the right to be trained as warriors and not just mend socks. Like: People who care about each other don't cut the other person out of their life and then get hurt and cover it up on top of everything.

Like: If you're upset, you tell the other person why.] Especially when things are complicated. Even with me and Sokka, we have to talk things out [sometimes very loudly] even if it's something we've had to deal with before. I don't know all the history between you and Loki, Thor, but I honestly don't think talking more and explaining what bothers is going to make it any worse. He might not change, but at least you'll know you were clear.

Talking is something we rarely have time to do.

[He already knows as he says it that this isn't true of the Fleet. They have nothing but time. With a sigh, he shakes his head.]

Or the inclination.

[ Right, well, at least he knows that the time excuse won't hold water here... but the inclination?

She tilts her head a little to ask: ] Why not?

[Thor leans back against the wall, letting his head thump back as he stares at the ceiling. It's a simple question with a thorny mess as an answer.]

Loki and I were at odds for the last few years. Most of our encounters in that time were fights. [Fights, deaths, betrayals. A lot of hurt. He looks down at Katara again.] Things are better now, but this just reminds me of those times.

[It shouldn't. This was nothing like their howling brawls or bitter arguments. Yet it does feel like a step backwards to Thor, pitching him back into a defensive mood.]

[ ...okay so. She doesn't think Thor is talking of 'yelling matches' in terms of fights, so maybe she should think about them less in terms of her and Sokka and more in terms of Zuko and Azula? Except she'd seen Loki care for Thor, and vice versa so.... Zuko and Azula on better terms? ]

That sounds... really frustrating and hurtful. I'm sorry. [ She bit her lip for a second, swallowing back her instinctive impulse to offer advice. ] I don't know what happened between you two, so I can't offer advice, not really. [ And he's skimmed through enough that she gets the feeling he doesn't want to go into that. ] And you don't have to tell me, but you can if you want to. But knowing just what I know right now - maybe I can offer a suggestion?

[There's definitely a reluctance to go into the whole sordid mess. Not because he doesn't like to think back on it - Thor rarely avoids his own issues. But despite his current frustration at Loki, he's not inclined to drag his brother through the mud right now when few here know the history.]

What is it?

Think of it like a battle. [ A little half shrug. ] When what you're doing doesn't work, try something else. Decide what you want the relationship to be and take steps to address it. That won't mean you can change Loki's responses, but I think he does care about you, Thor. That doesn't change what he did in the past, or what he did in going off to the ship by himself, but unless he knows you want something different, and what that looks like, he can't work toward it either. I think you should try telling him why this bothered you so much. [ A small, half smile. ] And if you go over while he's sick, he can't run away. I can make you some soup to bring him.

[This is really new territory for Thor: having someone actually talk through this sort of thing with him. His mother certainly hadn't tried to make him go talk to Loki when he didn't want to (when his brother was rightfully imprisoned and the idea of going to see him made Thor cold inside) and by the time Thor made his way back to the Avengers, Loki had been 'dead'. All he had said was that Loki was gone, then carried on as best he could. No need to discuss any friction or fractures.

What Katara's saying now makes sense. In fact, it's how he prefers to do things himself. Directly. It isn't the easiest thing in the world when Loki insists on twisting in the wind and turning matters around until they bite back. Yet Thor knows he had also stormed out of that conversation early rather than let his disappointment echo around the halls.

It's with all this in mind that Thor listens to Katara intently, a crease between his brows all the while. He has to smirk a bit at the idea of ambushing Loki while he's ill, because no doubt that would pin the other man down effectively.]

He couldn't run, but I would probably get a knife thrown at me for the effort. [Thor says that lightly though, as though it's not really a concern.] You may be right. That's something we do need to discuss again.

[ ...okay, casual knife throwing is definitely out of her sibling experience. But if Thor's not going to be worried about it, she won't stress too much. ]

Change is hard, especially when you're used to viewing a person a certain way. [ Definitely thinking about herself and Zuko here now. ] But if there's one thing this place is good for, it's... plenty of time to work on this stuff. And no where to run to get away from it.

[ So, yeah, you might as well try to deal with him again. ]

...even if that doesn't always feel very good.

Oh, it won't. I have no doubt about that.

[That seems fairly likely. If they can get through it without turning into another shouting match that would be good enough for Thor.]

I know if I wait for him to come to me it probably won't happen. So I had best speak with him.

[ She nods. ] Once you've had some time to think about what you want to say, and what you want out of your time here together, that's probably a good idea.

[ She offers a small smile. ] Let me know when you're going to go back over there, if you want me to make up some soup for him. It'll be important that he stays hydrated.

[Can't Thor just dunk Loki headfirst into the bath, that would solve both problems in one hit. Despite this petty thought, Thor smiles back at Katara. There's no doubt that speaking of this has relieved some of the pressure.]

All right, I will. Thank you, Katara.

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